I printed out the one pager from the Dr. Oz website that I
found for the 3 day detox cleanse and went shopping at the health food store
and stocked up on everything I needed. Here's the link: http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/dr-ozs-3-day-detox-cleanse-one-sheet
I was really looking forward to getting started so I
prepared the breakfast smoothie for the first day before I went to bed the
night before. I made the mistake of forgetting to grind my flax seeds and threw
them in whole which I found out (the hard way) was not a good idea.
On the morning of the first day I woke up excited to get
started and prepared the required cup of green tea with lemon slices and
Stevia. Of all the sweeteners I have ever tasted Stevia has got to be the worst
- it's HORRIBLE! I know its supposed to be the best sweetener out there but
honestly, if that is the case it must be because the taste of this crap is
enough to turn you off sweeteners all together. If Stevia was the only
sweetener available I would go without - seriously it is nasty.
Anyways I forced myself to drink my disgusting green tea while
I ground my flax seeds using my Magic Bullet (by the way the tea was only
disgusting because of the Stevia - I should have just poured it down the sink
and made another cup without the Stevia). I figured since the whole flax seeds
I had put in the night before wouldn't be useful because I hadn't ground them
that it wouldn't hurt to add another tablespoon of ground flax seed which at
least my body could use. I also took my probiotic and multivitamin.
Onto my first smoothie! I added my ground flax seeds and
took a gulp. I immediately realized that those whole flax seeds that I had
accidentally tossed in the night before were going to cause me grief. You would
think that after sitting overnight in the smoothie mixture that the outer seed
casing would have started to soften. Nothing doing. However every flax seed had
developed a gelatinous slime around it, so even when I tried to chew the seeds
they kept evading my teeth and slip-sliding around in my mouth. The taste of
the smoothie was great. But as I sat down at my computer after that first gulp
I suddenly didn't feel well. My mouth was filling up with saliva faster than I
could swallow it and I knew I was going to heave.
Off to the bathroom I ran and proceed to upchuck my green
tea, my vitamin, my probiotic (which merrily floated to the top, still encased
in it's capsule) and that first mouthful of smoothie. After emptying my stomach
I felt great. I wondered if it was my liver trying to tell me something?
So I went back to my breakfast smoothie and although it took
me 2 1/2 hours to get through, it didn't make me sick again. I was pretty sure
it was that foul Stevia in my tea that my body so violently rejected and I vowed
never to add Stevia to anything that passes my lips again.
The lunch smoothie also tasted good, but it had a texture
that was very difficult for me to like. I tried watering it down, but that just
made more of it that I had to choke down. Eating it with a spoon was somewhat
better, but there was no way I was going to get through the quantity I had
made. After working on it for over 3 hours I gave up and decided to keep the
rest for my lunch the next day. There was no time to make a snack smoothie
because it was almost supper time, plus I really wasn't hungry at all. So I
just took the rest of my vitamin and the Omega as a snack.
During the day I had read a blog where someone mentioned
that the cayenne pepper kind of ruined the taste of the supper smoothie and
they recommended putting the whole 1/4 tsp into a couple ounces of the supper
smoothie and shooting it down before drinking the rest of the smoothie - that
way the rest of the smoothie wouldn't have the peppery kick. Sounded like a
good idea to me. But I figured it would be easier to just take it down in one
gulp, so I decided a mouthful would be enough. I took a tablespoon of the
supper smoothie, topped it with the 1/4 tsp of cayenne pepper and shoved it in
my mouth. Bad idea. As my tongue came up to swallow it pushed the cayenne
pepper onto the roof of my mouth where it stuck in a thick paste. The roof of
my mouth began to burn, so I tried to rub the paste off the roof of my mouth
using my tongue. Not a great idea either...because then my tongue was on fire
too. So I started gulping down the supper smoothie (which tastes great by the
way) and around half way through it the burning had finally subsided.
(Note to self - do not repeat that stupid move tomorrow.)
I ended the day, as recommended, with an Epsom salt and
lavender bath. It was nice, but my bathtub is really not comfortable and it was
a struggle for me to sit there for 30 whole minutes. Afterwards I went to bed with
expectations of having a great sleep because that's what Dr. Oz said would
happen, but I tossed and turned for hours (and this happened all three nights).
I think I know what it was - the damned cayenne pepper. Pepper is a stimulant
for me and I'm pretty sure that taking it at supper time was keeping me awake
'til the wee hours of the morning.
The next day went well. The morning green tea was much
better without the damned Stevia and stayed down no problem. The morning
smoothie is really good and I really enjoyed it. For lunch I choked down what I
could of the green smoothie but I just couldn't bring myself to finish it and
ended up throwing some of it down the sink. Once again I really wasn't hungry
enough on day two to bother with the snack smoothie so I skipped it. For supper
I mixed the cayenne pepper into about two inches of smoothie in a small glass
and drank it down in one shot. It was a lot less hot that way and I could still
feel it but at least my mouth wasn't on fire. Then I proceeded to really enjoy
the supper smoothie.
On the morning of day three I was pretty proud of myself for
sticking with it and was looking forward to my breakfast and supper smoothies -
the lunch smoothie...not so much. I really didn't know how I was going to bring
myself to stomach it again. I know what you're thinking - come on - just one
more time. Surely you can do it! But no matter how I tried to convince myself,
I couldn't bring myself to throw all of those ingredients into the blender.
I compromised by making myself a salad with the lunch
smoothie ingredients instead. I chopped up the kale, celery, cucumber and green
apple and whizzed up a dressing in the blender using the coconut oil, the pineapple
and a bit of the almond milk. I squeezed the lime over the salad, drank the
remaining almond milk and tossed the salad with the pineapple dressing. Finally
I proceeded to eat the salad. It was pretty good - actually it was very edible
when compared to the smoothie! But after eating all that salad I wasn't hungry
enough for a snack smoothie. I wasn't really hungry for the supper smoothie
either but I had it anyway.
Over the three days I was never hungry, I did not feel weak
nor wiped out like some people claimed they were and I didn't crave or miss anything
really.
On the morning after I was done with the Dr Oz 3 day detox
cleanse I'll admit that I was really glad it was over. Nothing miraculous
happened - I didn't poop out anything spectacular and I didn't really notice
any difference as far as detecting saltiness nor sweetness was concerned. I was
down 5.8 pounds and overall I felt good. I can't say I felt noticeably better
than usual because I pretty much always eat fruits and vegetables so it wasn't
that much of a departure for me. I suppose I would have felt a bigger
difference if I was in the habit of eating a lot of junk food.
Would I do this again? Yeah, I might. But if I do I will
make a few changes.
1) I won't waste any money buying Stevia because it is
absolutely vile.2) I will put the ingredients for the lunch smoothie through a juicer instead of blending them. I am pretty sure it will be a lot easier to drink a smooth juice made from these ingredients than it is to try to scarf down that awful smoothie. I really found this to be the hardest part and I am really not the type of person who puts a lot of emphasis on texture - ever.
3) I will try to find a way to incorporate the cayenne pepper into either the breakfast or the lunch drink. For me having it at supper more than likely counteracted any beneficial effect the Epsom salt/lavender bath might have had on helping me to get a good night's sleep.
I know - those of you who read my blog regularly are no
doubt wondering where the "big end of the stick" is in this story.
Well the next time I saw my buddy who had suggested that I try this cleanse I mentioned to him that the green lunch smoothie with the coconut oil was the hardest part for me and asked him if he felt the same. He looked at me weird and said no - there was no coconut oil in the cleanse he did and the one he had trouble with was the one with the swiss chard and the clementines. I was confused - there was no swiss chard nor clementines in the cleanse I had done. After talking a little while we realized that I hadn't done the cleanse he had recommended. He had done the Joe Cross 3 day weekend juice cleanse - not the Dr. Oz 3 day detox cleanse!
So what it comes down to, is that because I am a sucker for
punishment and I will do just about anything I can to boost my metabolism, I
will eventually go out and buy myself a juicer and try the Joe Cross 3 day
weekend juice cleanse.
Every time someone drops a stick I just can't resist picking
it up and beating myself with it.
